An Ode to the Japanese Toilet and other things

Audrey) May I take just a minute of your day and mine to reflect on the wonders of the Japanese toilet? Take a look at it, in all its glory–

The red button at the bottom is to warm the seat. Just imagine it—every public restroom that you enter in Japan is immaculate and has a warm, toasty seat all ready for you. The green and yellow buttons above are to splash water on you in different types of patterns. This could easily be a disaster for those of us who don’t read Japanese, but luckily they tend to be accompanied with little drawings of what you’re in for. You can also adjust the temperature and water pressure to your liking.

But two things bother me about the Japanese toilet–how did they ever develop this and why didn’t we? Traditional Japanese toilets are squat-style. You still see these sometimes in public restrooms (and schools apparently), and you have to wonder—how did they go from a hole in the ground to the luxury penthouse suite, so to speak? And yet, in the USA, where the toilet is the throne, we lack all such options? There are truly bizarre, unexplained things in this world.

In addition to the toilet, one of the best things about Japan in my opinion is that people are always hurrying to serve you. There appear to be no stubborn teenagers reluctantly and ever slowly, fulfilling your food order and so forth. Instead, people are always literally running to do what you need. I took a shared taxi from the Osaka airport to Kyoto (about 2 hours by road) and every time the driver stopped he ran around the van to open the door for the passengers before running back to grab our luggage. At the Sanskrit conference I attended yesterday, student helpers were standing by after each talk to sprint the microphone to whoever wanted to ask a question so that they could be heard by the entire room. And when I took the subway home yesterday, everybody–I repeat, everybody–walked up the escalators, nobody stood their like a lump on a log (hello New Yorkers!). Really efficiency in general appears central to Japanese society. For example–check out this method of making a parking spot in one’s home into two that I saw on the street–

Speaking of the Sanskrit Conference reminds me—a quick note on a more personal/professional level. I gave my talk yesterday and it went well. For one thing, I can speak English fluently and clearly, which I’m sorry to say is not true of all the participants (the conference is 100% in English, however). I feel for those who struggle—after all, we’re in Japan and they’re supposed to speak our language? Who says imperialism is over, eh? But it makes for strained listening nonetheless. Today (Wed.) is a full conference day for me, but Thursday, I plan to play hooky big time and explore more of this marvelous city.

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Tags: efficiency, Japan, toilet